The Emperor and the Knightess

Chapter 150

When Rebecca saw Poliana, her body vibrated with this realization, she learned how stupid and nearsighted she has been. What Rebecca had wasn\'t a real success; Poliana was the truly successful one in this world.

Marquess Winter got her own castle, land, title, and favor from the emperor. Rebecca, on the other hand, was stuck in the lady\'s quarters to have babies. No matter who Poliana married, if at all, her life and success would not change.

Poliana was truly an independent woman, a woman that could live a life like a man.

Rebecca once read a novel with a knightess as the main character. She always thought what Poliana achieved in real life could only happen in a story but obviously, she was wrong.

Rebecca said to Poliana, "People tell boys that they should have big ambitions. As children, we are taught that boys have ambitions, and girls have ribbons. Boys are encouraged to be greedy while girls are forced to be meek and generous. The only things that the girls can be greedy about are jewelry, pretty dresses, and a handsome husband. My mistake was that all my life, I have been greedy about the things I was told I was allowed to have. Beautiful jewels, expensive dresses, and the most powerful man on the continent… But the truth is, I could\'ve been greedier. I could\'ve and should\'ve fought for more. I should\'ve at least tried to get things people told me I wasn\'t allowed to have. I should\'ve been braver."

Poliana began to get a headache. She couldn\'t tell what Rebecca was trying to tell her. Lady Rebecca began telling her about her life story and now she was talking about greed. Poliana saw that Rebecca was grabbing onto her blanket hard, which meant that she was distressed. Poliana was worried about the lady\'s throat because she was talking so much. What if she loses her voice tomorrow?

Poliana said to her, "Lady Rebecca, you are going to hurt your throat. If you want to tell me something, you can tell me once you\'re feeling better."

When Poliana tried to stand up to leave, Rebecca grabbed her. The lady was so weak that Poliana could\'ve pushed her hands away, but Poliana didn\'t. Poliana sighed and gently let Rebecca\'s hands go as she explained, "I\'m going to get you some water, that\'s all. I\'m not leaving, so don\'t worry."

Poliana got her a warm cup of water. Rebecca held it carefully with both hands and took a sip. Her voice sounded a little better afterward. Poliana said to her again, "I am not sure what you are trying to tell me, but perhaps you can tell me after you recover from your cold?"

"If I don\'t do it now, I never will get the courage to do it. I need to tell you this now."

Rebecca knew what she was about to tell Poliana wasn\'t going to work to her advantage. Poliana was a marquess and the emperor\'s favored guard. Saying something that could make their relationship awkward was going to work against Rebecca.

But she had to say this because Poliana was a woman, a knight, and a marquess. This had to be done, so Rebecca continued, "There is an invisible hurdle in our society that blocks the women from having their true happiness. Unless we get rid of it, women will always remain trapped in our cage. The problem is, this hurdle is a harsh one and it is not forgiving to anyone who tries to jump over it. This is why no one ever tries to overcome it. They… We… don\'t even try because we don\'t even know that it exists. We don\'t even realize that it\'s a hurdle. We just think it\'s there for our own protection. But you, Marquess… You succeeded in jumping over this wall. I\'ll bet the men around you were confused and shocked to see you. I\'ll bet they tried to destroy you. They would\'ve threatened you to get back behind this \'wall.\' They probably used violence against you to try to force you, but Marquess Winter, you clearly did not back down. You kept going and going until the men had no choice but to accept you but in the process, you lost your gender."

"I am a woman." Poliana frowned, it was the first time she reacted to Rebecca\'s words during her rant. Poliana then explained, "Sorry to interrupt you, but you got it wrong, Lady Rebecca. I have never forgotten my gender in my life. Not once. I may have cut my hair short, wear pants, and carry a sword, but I never considered myself as a woman. I never even considered to make myself a man."

"Yes, Marquess, I agree with you. I meant something else."

"What do you mean?"

"I\'m saying you aren\'t in the same boat as all the other women. You can\'t empathize with us. In fact, you empathize with men much more."

With a breathless sigh, Rebecca continued, "For example, a retired soldier would feel more sympathy towards an injured soldier than a merchant. Marquess, when you heard about what happened to Stra today, how did you feel? What did you think?"

Nothing. Poliana didn\'t feel much. Maybe a little disappointed, but nothing more than that.

\'Oh.\'

Suddenly, Poliana realized what Rebecca was talking about. When she heard about Stra\'s phantom pregnancy, Poliana didn\'t think much of it, and Rebecca saw this. This whole time… This long rant… It was about Poliana\'s lack of sympathy. Rebecca smiled bitterly and asked again, "What did you think?"

All Poliana felt was just a minor disappointment that the emperor wasn\'t going to have a baby soon. She was also a little annoyed that Stra didn\'t confirm it before letting people know. This news was going to disappoint a lot of people and it was unnecessary.

Poliana was also surprised that phantom pregnancy really happened in real life. She was confused about why Stra was crying so much. It wasn\'t like she lost a baby, so why was she so sad? Lady Stra should toughen up a little.

Of course, Poliana had enough sense not to say these thoughts out loud. Rebecca said to her, "I can see that you don\'t feel sympathy towards Stra at all. It\'s because it\'s not like she lost a real baby, right? Because it was just a phantom pregnancy."

Bingo.

Poliana rubbed her cheek. She knew herself that she could pull up a good poker face, but today, it seemed that her thoughts were apparent on her face. With a sigh, Poliana explained, "The reason why I am not concerned about it is that all of her highnesses are young and healthy. Even if, god forbid, Lady Stra cannot have a child, there are still yourself and Lady Tory who can bear his highness\'s heir. That is why I didn\'t react much to Lady Stra\'s news."

"Please… Marquess Poliana… Have you ever considered why a young healthy woman, who has only been married for a year, be so desperate that she would imagine herself pregnant?"

"Well…"

"You know the answer. The most important quality we, the emperor\'s wives, have is our bloodline. Our only purpose is to have the emperor\'s children. It makes sense since a woman\'s purpose in life is to bear children. That is how everyone thinks, including the women themselves. We see each other as tools to have sons. Those who bear sons are considered successful and lucky. Women are often meaner to other women, but women are also most understanding of other women. But Marquess Winter… You think the way the men do about us, don\'t you?"