Chapter 298
The answer was…
“No, Pol.”
His heart beat so fast that day… The intense feelings that overwhelmed him…
She was so precious, too precious, that he could not even dare to touch her. It was even harder for him to watch another man approaching her. He was keeping her safe from him, but he ended up letting a gold digger snake get to her.
He wanted to protect her. He wanted to make sure no one hurt her. He planned on keeping her close, but this time, it was he who had hurt her. The snake Frau hurt her pride while Lucius the First ended up hurting her heart.
Lucius the First stammered, “I didn’t want to make you cry, Sir Pol… But I guess I failed.” The emperor used to laugh at those who believed in unrealistic romance stories, but it seemed that Lucius the First made the same mistake. He forgot the reality and caused his most loyal knight to shed tears.
Hot tears finally rolled down Poliana’s cheeks. Her teeth were clenched hard. She looked like she was experiencing the worst moment of her life.
Worse than when she found out the truth about Frau.
Poliana began to sob uncontrollably.
Lucius the First embraced her gently and Poliana did not fight him. She cried quietly, not making a sound, which made it even worse.
“I’m sorry… It’s all my fault, Pol… It’s… I made a mistake. It’s my fault.”
The emperor caressed her hair gingerly as if he was consoling a child. His hands were kind and sweet.
The emperor was supposed to never apologize. He was supposed to never make mistakes, and even if he did, he wasn’t supposed to apologize for them. Unfortunately, it seemed that when it comes to Poliana, Lucius the First constantly did things that required him to apologize to her. Perhaps it was their fate to be in this kind of relationship.
“I am not supposed to apologize to anyone, yet I keep wronging you, Pol. I am sorry. It’s all my fault.”
Before Poliana met Lucius the First, she didn’t have a purpose for life. She lived for the sake of living, and she was getting tired of the effort she had to make just to survive. Just when Poliana felt like she had enough of her life, it was then when Lucius the First offered her something to live for.
A goal.
He made her an offer, and he asked her if she would follow him.
Poliana was abandoned by her own family. She was bullied and abused by everyone in her own army. She had no good reason to live, and yet she desperately worked to live.
The emperor was the first one to see her talent. He recognized how hard she worked. He told her he needed her. He told her he liked her. Even though he knew she was a woman, he accepted her as a knight. He acknowledged her as a knight.
Lucius the First offered her a dream she never even imagined could be her own. He gave her an opportunity to be part of his future. It was such a wonderful dream. Poliana became stronger for him. She studied and worked harder to serve the emperor better.
Most importantly, she learned to see herself in a positive way. Every time Lucius the First complimented her, her pride in herself grew.
Her entire life changed for the better after she met him. She had a dream to pursue. She made friends. She was gifted with superiors she respected and subordinates she could trust. She even got an adopted brother. All of these things were thanks to serving the greatest emperor in history.
Everyone worked together to achieve the emperor’s dream. The wonderful times Poliana had were all because of Lucius the First.
But now… Everything she achieved… The works she accomplished… They were all going to be taken away from her. Her dream life was beginning to shatter. It was Lucius the First who gave her everything, yet it was also him who was destroying it all. He was such a beautiful man, but he was dirtying everything she had.
The witch who seduced the emperor. The wh*re. The crazy b*tch. The ice-cold woman.
Poliana was used to what people called her. Even when they weren’t true… Even when the things people talked about her were horrendous and ugly… Poliana laughed them off. She was okay because she knew that her relationship with the emperor was pure, but as soon as Lucius the First confessed his love for her, everything people have gossiped about became true.
The story of her, a stupid b*tch, seducing and fooling the emperor, now was going to be true. The stories that were made up to bring her down by the enemies were going to become the truth.
“She is a woman, so what do you expect?”
This was the worst sentence she has ever heard about herself, and it was going to be a true statement now. Was this really correct? No matter how hard she worked, was her gender going to be her greatest limit?
Will she never be able to overcome this?
The impossible path of knightess was made possible by the emperor. But now, it was Lucius the First who was taking her life away from her. Was being a woman truly a curse? Was this the end for her? Did all of her hard work not going to matter?
If Poliana was born a man, something like this would’ve never happened. If she was born a man, she would’ve never been forced to feel this miserable. If she was born a man, her emperor would’ve never been forced to apologize to her like this.
Poliana pushed Lucius the First away and wiped away her tears.
“Your highness, you didn’t do anything wrong. It is all my fault. All of it… All…”
“Pol, stop saying that…!”
Only
“I have done you wrong. As soon as the prince is old enough to travel, I will send him to you to Yapa.”
She told him that she will “send” their son. She didn’t say she herself will return with their son. Lucius the First flinched, realizing that his confession ended up causing the situation to become worse.
“Poliana, are you saying you want to give up your right as his mother?”
“I will leave everything up to you, your highness. It’s ok if you do not acknowledge him as your own. If you wish, I can raise him here in secret. If you wish to take him as your own, then please hide my identity and have our son be adopted by one of your future wives.”
“Poliana, I never asked you to give up being the mother to our son.”
“And I never said I will raise this child myself.”
Lucius the First’s and Poliana’s eyes met intensely. The emperor was surprised by her reaction, but he understood her; this was the woman he loved, this was the Poliana Winter he knew.