The Silly Alchemist

Edited by Ilesyt

“It’s too early to worry about that. You haven’t even eaten what’s within your bowl and you’re already salivating over what’s left in the pan. I haven’t removed your scar yet and you’re already trying to whiten your skin.” Ye Lang said directly.

“This... Tee-hee, please take care of this first...” Ye Lang’s cousin said with an embarrassed smile.

“Ok, lie down and don’t move, it’s going to take a while. If you’re afraid that you’ll get tired, then I can put you to sleep.” Ye Lang explained.

“No, if you won’t get tired, how could I get tired...” Ye Lang’s cousin shook her head and smiled.

“Oh, then lie down and I’ll get started...”

And like this, Ye Lang began to carefully grind off his cousin’s skin while she laid there with her eyes closed, not moving a muscle. Ye Lanyu didn’t sleep either, she sat by the side and watched.

As time ticked by, the scar on the forehead of Ye Lang’s cousin grew more and more faint...

Late at night...

“It’s done, I’m tired, going to sleep...” Ye Lang immediately went off to the side to sleep after finishing. He didn’t even want to say another word.

“...” Ye Lanyu and her cousin were silent, they looked at each other and smiled. They reached a decision...

...

“Why are you so late tonight?” The girl within Ye Lang’s dreams asked aridly with a hint of dissatisfaction, but at the same time, she sounded pleasantly surprised.

“I was grinding off some skin for my cousin so that in the future she can wear whatever hairstyle she likes.”

“Oh...”

...

“Weird, why do I feel like my body is very heavy like something is crushing down on it?” Ye Lang suddenly spoke about his body’s sensations in the middle of their dream conversation.

“There’s nothing on your body.” The girl looked a bit at Ye Lang and spoke.

“Maybe it’s just an illusion...” Ye Lang placed the sensation at the back of his head and proceeded to continue his conversation.

Morning came, and when Ye Lang woke up he discovered that the sensation he felt last night wasn’t an illusion but was real. Right now he was definitely feeling very heavy!

Why was he heavy?

If you try having two girls lying on top of you while you sleep, you would definitely have this kind of feeling!

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“Sister, cousin, what are you doing, you definitely know that you’re heavy, yet you still laid on top of me while I was sleeping.” Ye Lang very bluntly woke the two of them up. He completely failed to understand that he should treat them tenderly and let them sleep a little longer.

“Screw you, you’re the heavy one!” Ye Lanyu immediately responded. She then calmly spoke, “Sister hasn’t slept with you in a long time, you heartless little fellow, after you grew up you stopped liking sister.”

“Obviously! Now that I’m grown up I want a wife, why would I want a sister!” Ye Lang was very obedient and replied without a hint of mercy.

*Whack!* What answered Ye Lang was naturally Ye Lanyu’s small pink fist. Her eyes blazing with fury, she fiercly cried: “How dare you say you don’t want me, if you want to be like this, don’t you even dare think about getting a wife!”

“If you say not to get a wife I won’t, I’m scared of you!” Ye Lang replied directly, but then he felt his reply was somewhat problematic.

If he didn’t get a wife, didn’t that symbolize he wants this sister of his? This wasn’t opposing but promising.

“You idiot! Alright be obedient and get out of bed, sister can’t bear for you to be alone and will help you find a wife later. However, you can’t abandon your sister!” Ye Lanyu said in a pampering tone.

“Oh, got it...” Ye Lang agreed.

At this time, someone started objecting, of course it was the cousin who everybody had forgotten...

“Hey hey, aren’t you guys being too cruel here? I’m leaving today, yet you guys aren’t remembering me!”

“Who said that! Right now, you’re lying on top of me, how could I forget you?” Ye Lang asked.

“This...”

“Everybody wake up and start preparing, otherwise you won’t leave either.” Ye Lang said “It’s like this every time, you always find an excuse to stay another day...”

The previous times Ye Lang’s cousin had visited, she had delayed leaving several times. After arranging to leave today, she would stubbornly delay until tomorrow, the day after that, once even delaying for ten days straight.

“.... Little brat, you dare to touch your mother’s weak point!” Ye Lang’s cousin borrowed a trick and whacked him while referring to herself as his mother.

“Leaving...” Ye Lang ducked and then dashed out the door, disappearing from the fields of view of the 2 girls.

“...”

Noon, a large number of people had congregated in front of the Ye family’s front door, including Ye Chengtian and his wife. Of course, Ye Lang and his sister were also present. They were all there to send Ye Lang’s cousin off as she left.

“Aunt, Uncle, Little Yu, I’m leaving! Little Lang, remember to come to Vermillion Bird to look for me, you promised.” As she was leaving, Ye Lang’s cousin didn’t forget to give him a special reminder.

This was because earlier, Ye Lang had said he might go travel the world and might go to the Vermillion Bird Empire. She had immediately told Ye Lang to come visit her, of course she had completely ignored the fact that his words had a “might” within them.

“Got it, you talk too much, hurry up and leave!” Ye Lang shooed his cousin away like he was shooing away a fly, his face looking “fed up”.

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“You brat, I give up, just don’t forget.” Ye Lang’s cousin impatiently shook her head. She turned around and prepared to get in the carriage, but she suddenly stopped as she was about to go in.

She turned her head and looked at Ye Lang before speaking: “Little Lang, I hear your singing is pretty good, can you sing a song for me to send me off.”

Ye Lang looked at her cousin and fell into a stupor. Under the watchful gazes of the spectators, two words came from his mouth –

“STOP TALKING!”

Sway.....

Ye Lang’s cousin fell off her carriage, and everybody else almost fell over as well. The guy was too worthless. Others had only asked you to sing a song, yet you rejected in this manner.

“Hmph! Remember this!” Ye Lang’s cousin clenched her teeth and angrily left behind those parting words before immediately entering the carriage.

“Uh huh, I will.” Ye Lang nodded.

“Go die...” An angry roar came out of the carriage, immediately after, an object was thrown out of the carriage towards Ye Lang. It seemed that this was the embodiment of Ye Lang’s cousin’s rage.

“What’s this?” Ye Lang softly caught that object and looked at it. It looked like a jade tablet. To the veteran prodigal son, Ye Lang, it only took one glance to discern that it wasn’t cheap either.

Logically speaking, this shouldn’t be something people go throwing around randomly!

Moreover the two words “Ye Lang” were carved on the jade tablet, making it even more certain that this wasn’t something she threw simply to vent her anger.

“Cousin...”

“What!”

“Can I sell this?”

“... GO DIE!!”

“Haha, I’m just joking, let me give you something too. Catch!” Ye Lang threw over a small bottle, good things bring good returns.

“What’s this?” Ye Lang’s cousin suspiciously asked after catching it.

“Those are cosmetic maintenance pills, take one a day, make sure not to overdose.” Ye Lang replied, as for what the effect of those pills were, I’m sure no further explanation was needed.

“Little brat, big sis didn’t spoil you for nothing.” Ye Lang’s cousin smiled, but very quickly her smile disappeared because Ye Lang wasn’t done speaking –

“You’re old now, you have to take care of yourself, otherwise you won’t be able to get married.”

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“GET OUT!”

“.....”

And like this, Ye Lang chased his cousin away, but before he could celebrate, he was pulled aside by his parents for a lecture. Of course, this wasn’t over his conduct towards his cousin, even his cousin wouldn’t take offense over that, how could they use that as an excuse to lecture their beloved son?

“Son, are you really not going to the exam?” Ye Chengtian asked.

He was still asking about whether Ye Lang would attend the competition. Because Ye Lang had refused to attend the examination, he had caused his parents to be very worried.

All parents hope for their children to become dragons. In the past, Ye Lang’s circumstances made them think that it would be enough if he could be an ordinary person. However, the abilities Ye Lang had recently showed made them feel that this phrase “Parents hope for their children to become dragons.” needed to be paraded and waved about.

And this time’s competition was a good opportunity; they felt that Ye Lang had to participate!

“Not going, I’ve told you guys that many times already, stop asking, and stop talking about it, I won’t change my mind. That’s right, next year I might go watch the competition, starting from next year, I’m going to go travel and have fun!” After Ye Lang finished rejecting, he conveniently slipped in a few more words.

“If you’re going to go travel, why can’t you just stop by the competition on the way. All you need to do is just walk around in the stadium anyways, with your alchemy it won’t be hard to get a good result.” Ye Chengtian said.

Ye Lang shook his head and said: “I only said if, if at that time I’m somewhere else, then I won’t have the time so it won’t be convenient anymore. Besides, even if it was convenient, I still wouldn’t want to go!”

“Where can you go... Wait, are you saying you’re not just going there, but you’re going to travel to many places?” Ye Chengtian came to a realization and immediately asked.

“Yep, I plan on starting this year. After my coming of age ceremony, I’m going to travel the world, I’ve already planned it all out.” Ye Lang nodded.

“Denied!” The thee people present all immediately vehemently objected.

“Stop treating me like a child, after passing through the coming age of ceremony I will already be an adult, it’s necessary for me to go out and travel!” Ye Lang lightly replied.

“If it was someone else, we would be relaxed, but as for you, how can we not be worried, you will often do stupid things!” Ye Chengtian very straightforwardly said.

“That’s all stuff from when I was a kid, how could I do stupid things now!” Ye Lang immediately retorted.

“You don’t? Don’t forget, back then, who was it that almost blew up the Princess Qi’s resting palace, as well as the one that rushed out to pet the dragon knight’s wyvern and almost got eaten? Furthermore, who was it...”

“Stop stop, those were all exceptional circumstances, besides, not even a hair on my head was touched right?” Ye Lang refused to soften his stance and maintained his position.

“That’s because your other mother spoils you...” Ye Chengtian had trouble speaking. The other mother he spoke of was the goddess of fortune. Right now, the Emperor and everybody else spoke of the relationship between Ye Lang and the goddess of fortune that way, as mother and son, otherwise... How could she favor him so much.