The Silly Alchemist

“Tigress, are you done yet... I’m starving...”

He was indeed starving. There were only two people in the world who could make him wait for their cooking- Tigress and Zhen Xiaoyan- instead of leaving to eat something else.

“I’m done, I’m done...” came Tigress’ voice from the kitchen. Soon, she brought a big, steaming bowl of fishball noodles for him.

Thank goodness Tigress often made this for herself, hence she already had all the ingredients at home and it was quick to prepare. If she didn’t have them, Ye Lang would’ve had to wait even longer.

Slurp...

Ye Lang devoured the bowl immediately, disregarding the heat. Tigress, who was watching him, soon began to panic and stopped him from eating too quickly but Ye Lang wasn’t worried. He finished the bowl in minutes.

“...Master, do you want more? I still have some in the pot...” she offered, stunned. Master never used to eat this much, was it because he was grown?

“Yeah, one more bowl please!” he nodded.

“Alright! Eat as much as you want, I cooked extra!” Tigress returned to the kitchen and brought another bowl of noodles out.

This happened a few more times. Finally, Ye Lang patted his swollen belly with immense satisfaction, “Alright, I can’t eat anymore, I can’t! I’m so full!”

“Master, please tell me you weren’t forcing yourself to eat more...” Tigress thought it was his appetite that had grown.

“Yeah, I still want to eat more. I haven’t eaten your noodles in such a long time!” Ye Lang nodded.

“...Sigh, I can cook more next time if you like! What if you get sick? Eat some medicine, you should have some with you,” exclaimed Tigress, exasperated.

“Done!”

“You’ve taken your medicine? When?”

Ye Lang smiled. “I took one when you were cooking.”

“...” Tigress was speechless, but she understood. Ye Lang had already planned to stuff himself sick, hence had his medicine ready.

Although Tigress was slightly upset he was doing this to himself, this also meant he adored her cooking. This made her very happy but if she knew she would’ve stopped him no matter how happy she was.

“Master, how have you been all these years?” she asked gently, looking at Ye Lang. She only heard stories and rumours about him. She knew about the major incidents but didn’t know anything about the details.

“Me? Just living by the day.”

“Start from the beginning, from the day I left...” Tigress knew his answer would be very vague and decided to let him start from the beginning. It would take him a long time but she was willing to listen.

Ye Lang thought for a moment. “I started to sing after you left, I sang every night!”

Tigress’ face darkened. Were you THAT happy to see me go? However, she knew Ye Lang had a peculiar way of using words so she had to ask more questions.

“What song did you sing every night?”

“I sang Men Don’t Cry...”

Tigress understood what he implied. Ye Lang had cried and subsequently sang every night to express his sorrow. He probably tortured the entire Ye family with his Pipa and Erhu instruments too...

Then, Ye Lang started to tell her about the things he did, though it mainly consisted of three things: sleep, be prodigal, study. There were of course more interesting things that happened in between.

Tigress was shocked when she listened to him talk about Zhen Xiaoyan. Ye Lang told her how he transformed Xiaoyan into a gorgeous beauty, and how she won the beauty pageant. She asked suspiciously, “Master, did you really do that? In a month?”

We can’t blame her for her scepticism though. She had spent time with Zhen Xiaoyan too and knew how Zhen Xiaoyan looked like then. It would’ve been a miracle.

Then, she couldn’t decide between being happy or sad when she heard about Xiaoyan cooking for Ye Lang all the time.

She was happy because someone was taking care of Ye Lang and cooking for him; sad because Ye Lang liked Xiaoyan’s cooking more than hers and she got to cook more often too.

“I didn’t know how psychotic the eight princess was! She’s an absolute madwoman! How did you all escape?”

Tigress grew more anxious when they talked about the change in monarch and the eighth princess. Ye Lang only briefly explained the event but she knew the process must not be this simple, hence she kept grilling him about the details. And every new detail made her heart beat faster.

Thank goodness he has a few weird talents or I wouldn’t be able to see him, ever...

“No way, a hundred and eighty thousand people? And you trapped them all alone?” she was stunned once again when he told her about him trapping the Soaring Sky army alone.

She was proud of herself for fighting amongst her people against tens of thousands of people, yet Ye Lang was here telling her about the day he trapped a hundred and eighty thousand people. Her self-esteem dropped a little.

However, thankfully the person outperforming her was Ye Lang so she was still proud of him!

Ye Lang had never told anyone about this incident, this was the first time he ever brought it up. This showed where Tigress stood in his heart.

Then, he told her how he won a kingdom in a gamble, then founded Ye City...

He then set out to look for Tigress but left with the wrong mercenary group. There, he was recruited into the Coldblood Group, he entered the Vermilion Bird Empire and met his cousin, Princess Longji, and also met the emperor and the empress dowager...

“Ah! Right! I forgot... Little Xin!! Little Xin, hurry!”

“??” Tigress still didn’t know who Little Xin was. Ye Lang was just telling her about the reanimated spirit he made but she didn’t know how the spirit looked like.

Within three minutes, Little Xin appeared by Ye Lang’s side!

“This is the reanimated spirit you made? She looks exactly like a human! I wouldn’t have known! Master, this is amazing!” Upon hearing Ye Lang’s explanation, she exclaimed in admiration and surprise.

“Hehe, I AM amazing, aren’t I?” Ye Lang would never fake humility with Tigress. Instead, he gloated as much as he wanted.

“You are, you are! This is awesome! Tell me more...”

“Oh, at that point, I intended to register for the competition at Sheng City and then come visit you but there was an epidemic there...” Ye Lang continued.