To Live Again, For the First Time!

As Emilin, it was easier said than done to become such a person.

Someone who could speak their mind as they liked while also getting along with others. Her EQ and confidence were simply insufficient.

​​

But as her alt account, Weiwei, she could act a little more unrestrained.

This led Emilin to believe that her past traumas had something to do with betrayal, as many times people with such traumas would have trouble approaching others for fear of being stabbed in the back if they got into relationships that involved too much trust.

Because Emilin didn\'t have any memories of those events except for some snippets, she didn\'t have that same fear.

In fact, she longed for companionship, but those traumas still surfaced as her disability to talk to others even when she wanted to if she had friendship and trust in mind.

That would also explain why she wouldn\'t be particularly adverse to little kids like Rose, or even elders. She wouldn\'t approach them necessarily with companionship or trust in mind.

As for her family, it was as if they skipped this whole filtering phase, they were people who had her complete trust and so there was no internal conflict.

This could be solved as Weiwei, as the chances of being stabbed in the back and thus the consequences did not land on her. It was an identity she could easily dispose of.

In fact, Emilin should have long come to this conclusion as this was exactly what she did with her identities as Master M and Master Lin.

Even though they were identities that were connected with a lot of her finances, if trouble that she couldn\'t face came to attack her, she wouldn\'t hesitate to move everything and dispose of the empty shell that was that identity.

Emilin thought about that and time passed quickly, by the time she finally snapped out of it and realized that there was still no call coming in, she composed herself and left the bathroom.

First, she realized that she hadn\'t given Noah her number, and second, she realized that in all that time, she hadn\'t even figured what she would have said if she did in fact get a call, after all, she spent most of that time in a daze.

And just like that, she left the bathroom confidently on the outside and calmly on the inside.

A small knot in her heart was solved and a new rope path unraveled as she took a step out of the door as Weiwei.

Someone with the confidence that she herself could not show.

But confidence is also not something someone is simply born with, but rather a trait that was to be cultivated. Emilin was confident that she would be able to cultivate the confidence she had inside of her into something she could display on the outside.

***

Emilin didn\'t go in-depth on how she felt at every step nor her process, mainly because she didn\'t want to expose her problems right now in fear of overwhelming someone who didn\'t know her very well.

That and the fact that her problem was hard to relate to, so rather than creating a point of connection and a conversation between two people, it was more likely that it would create a rift of sorts, an awkward silence, and even more likely, an awkward atmosphere.

"It was a great experience, if I could I would do it many more times, but after I wash off the makeup, I doubt I will be able to catch that feeling again," Emilin spoke in a stable voice, in fact, she didn\'t sound like she was particularly disappointed.

It was as if a billionaire had missed out on a million-dollar project.

It was just a shame.

Of course, there would be some regret, but not to the extent where it would affect that person\'s emotions.

It was that kind of mountain-like stability.

However, the reality was more like missing out on a billion-dollar investment as a millionaire.

After all, for Emilin, money could be earned again, but once she missed out on a chance at learning about companionship from another person\'s shoes, she didn\'t know when a similar chance would come around again.

If ever at all.

"Then that\'s good, it means that you\'re interested. I\'m offering you right now to be taken in by me so think about it. I\'ll give you 5 days to consider it, but it\'s best if you give me a response as soon as possible, hopefully, I won\'t lose interest by then." Grace smiled as per usual.

Emilin didn\'t know what to say, was Grace ruthless? Arrogant? Cocky? All of the above? But then again, what did that matter? So what if she was all of those traits?

"I\'ll give you a response by tomorrow," Emilin said with a confident smile.

Suddenly, it went from sounding as if Grace was a big boss giving a small employee an offer all the way to Emilin being an unreachable business partner that Grace had made an offer to. Now, Grace had to wait for the big shot\'s response.

Grace didn\'t know how to feel about this alternate personality of Emilin, but it was both interesting and convincing enough.

As for Emilin, she felt like she might be getting a teacher soon.

It was a novel experience.

Accepting a teacher was definitely different from accepting a friend, and very much different from interacting with business partners.

She didn\'t mind the thought at all, maybe because she didn\'t have a teacher in her past life?

That was the feeling Emilin was getting.

She could have assumed that her teacher in her past life was simply good to her, but from that snippet she got a few months back at school, of that lab, that didn\'t seem realistic.

After their short conversation, Emilin sent Mason a message telling him that she would agree to become his model.

It was a win-win situation in her eyes.

All of her requirements were met and she would also be able to continue experiencing the feeling of being in someone else\'s skin.

Then, she left and made her way back to her apartment.

She hadn\'t forgotten that she would have to call Noah later, but there was something slightly more pressing right now.

No, of course, she wasn\'t just procrastinating something she didn\'t want to do, what do you mean?

[Side note: Geniuses don\'t procrastinate!]

[Side note: Wait, um that doesn\'t seem to make sense, well, who cares, plot armor! A protagonist can do no wrong!]

[Side note: Hehe, what is procrastinating? I am procrastinating.]

***

Emilin sat down on the long glass dining table with her computer in front of her while Xander, who had figured that she had come back, also came to her apartment, sitting on the other side of the same table.

Even though they were each working on this same glass table, their workspaces were really worlds apart.

While Emilin only needed her computer, Xander had a computer on one side, and he surrounded himself with stacks of papers with plenty of draft paper in the fray.

It was a wonder how he could find anything in that condition, though considering he had been working on the same papers for the past few days nonstop, it wouldn\'t be wrong to say that he had pretty much carved the image of those papers into his mind.

He just needed to understand them now.

But today, Xander couldn\'t concentrate as he normally did.

This was the first time Xander found Emilin actually working on something so he was extremely curious.

In the past few days, if Emilin wasn\'t scrolling her phone, she was playing with cats, if she wasn\'t playing with cats, she was meditating, and if she wasn\'t meditating, she was sleeping.

Of course, Xander didn\'t know what Emilin was doing on her phone, but he was around 100% sure that it wasn\'t work-related.

Emilin didn\'t seem to be restrained by a school, then again, Xander doubted a school could teach her anything she wanted to learn with Master M being Emilin\'s teacher.

As for what exactly she was doing all day, well, I guess she was helping him, so that was something, but was that really her job?

\'…\'

Maybe it was to find a successor!

Him, right?

[Pretty accurate.]

As Xander thought about that, he was super inclined to simply ask Emilin what she was doing on her computer!

At the same time, though Emilin had felt Xander\'s occasional glances on her, she didn\'t say anything since he wasn\'t saying anything either.

She had to concentrate a little on what she was doing right now.

She had thought about how she wanted to proceed with this.

Emilin needed to do a thorough background check on Mason, Lisa, Noah, Grace, Owen, Margo, and even a bunch of people from the studio, but at the same time, she was also somewhat reluctant.

She didn\'t want to know whether she should do it or not, but in the end, safety was always a top priority.

She had already decided to get involved so there was no way around it, after all, this could affect her family\'s safety, if she unintentionally got into something she shouldn\'t have, she could still back off now.

But on the other hand, she was praying that there wasn\'t any information that would make her have to do so.

In retrospect, maybe she should have done this earlier, but she wasn\'t going to background check everyone she met.

However, these people were already becoming a significant part of her life, and she hoped that it would remain that way in the future too, so it had to be done.

Now she sat there with another dilemma.

And of course, the first person she would turn to to ask about such things would be, her big brother Theo.