Heart of Darkness

"Roxana," he whispered her name bringing his fingers to caress her cheek. Roxana shivered as they moved over her lips and then down to her neck and chest. And then she felt his strong body on hers and her heart skipped a beat. His hand slid under her chemise, his fingers playing across her thigh. His hot breath tickled her neck and then her ear.

"Roxana," he whispered, flicking his hot tongue over her ear. It tickled and she pushed her shoulder up.

"Ah, Alexander."

He ran his hot tongue across her ear again.

"Roxana."

Suddenly he barked in her ear. Like a dog. It was so loud it forced her eyes open. Instead of a beautiful man, a dog was looming over her. A peal of laughter followed her shock.

"Oh, Alexander," Fanny imitated her as he laughed.

She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked around. It was a dream?

"No!" She fell back on the mattress feeling both flustered and disappointed. "What are you doing in my room?"

Fanny shrugged. "I thought to wake you up for your work, but found you having some interesting dream so I let you enjoy yourself for a while."

She sat up and glared at him while he enjoyed himself.

"I see some desires in you have awakened. Now you won\'t only joke about having them." Fanny said as the dog went to move around him in circles where he sat.

"It doesn\'t matter."

"It does. It will only get worse from now. You will crave a man\'s touch. Do you think only men crave these things?"

"I don\'t know what you are talking about." She said getting up. She took the blanket and began to fold it.

After the day the man she was supposed to marry left her when he saw her scars, she had abandoned the thought of having a man in her life. They would only find her desirable with clothes on.

She folded everything and put it back in place. Fanny watched her then sighed. "It seems like the fortune teller at your birth didn\'t tell you that you one day will find passion and love."

Roxana shook her head with a smile. "I just want to find my family now. That is enough for me."

She often dreamed of that day, imagined how she would feel. Finding her family would be more than enough. If she was lucky. She knew there was the possibility of not finding them but she didn\'t want to think of that.

"We will find them," Fanny assured her.

She just nodded.

"But aren\'t you taking too much time? You will be late to work."

"I am having a night shift." She said. It was her first night shift and she would follow her supervising guards to know how they work at night.

"And where did you get this money from?" He held a pouch in his hand. It was the one she received from the cunning Lord Quintus. Why was trouble after her already?

"There is this Lord I don\'t like. He wants me to be his puppet so he gave me the money. I took it. I will pretend to be his puppet until we leave." She shrugged. There was no need to upset a powerful Lord. She would give him what he thought he wanted.

"He wants you to do what exactly?" Fanny asked not liking what he was hearing.

"Spy on the king."

"Cunning," Fanny said. "Be careful. I don\'t like this."

"Don\'t worry. I am not getting myself involved in rich people\'s games."

But there was something more about him. The way he watched her was not of that of a man looking at another man. He watched her as if she was a woman. An enticing one at that. He confused her.

Perhaps he preferred men. She had heard that some men preferred men even though she didn\'t know how that worked, but since such behavior was condemned they did it in secret. She could care less what he preferred as long as it didn\'t involve her. Roxana didn\'t want any kind of attention that could put her in trouble.

"I need my dress today," She said.

How ironic considering that she was tired of being called a girl and threatened to wear a dress as if it was a humiliating thing.

Getting into her dress, she left the ship. Roxana decided that she would only walk around today and relax after all the shouting and training. She walked near the ocean, then went to the market and met a few people she knew then, at last, she went by the church to see Father Anthony.

Roxana had almost forgotten the feeling of calm and peace that the church brought. She went and sat on a pew and stared ahead, relaxing in the silence. Then she stared at the crucified man ahead, the woman with a child and the angels scattered around. Did she even belong here?

She turned her head when she caught a movement in corner of her eye. Father Anthony came to sit with her. His hands folded in front of him.

"Our Father, Who art in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." He prayed and then turned to her with a gentle smile. "Did you forget your prayers?" He asked.

"How can I pray with the same tongue that I lie?" She had confessed her sins to Father Anthony and he had kept her in his prayers.

"Only God knows our hearts and your heart have brought you here." He said.

Roxana looked down at her hands.

"Did you meet Lucy?" He asked.

She gazed at him. "Did something happen?"

"The people she works for are taking their home."

"Why?" Roxana asked.

"They don\'t have documents. They said the girl stole from them so they are taking her house."

Roxana\'s face turned hot from anger. They had a mansion and wanted to take these small children\'s home. Some people had no mercy at all.

She stood up. "I am going to the Lord of the manor." She said.

Father Anthony rose from his seat, looking concerned. "You will get in trouble." He told her.

"Father, I just can\'t watch this unfairness."

"I know. But you need to be calm."

She took a deep breath. She knew these wealthy people were not easy to deal with and this world was unfair. The powerful would win.

"Don\'t worry father. I will be careful." She assured him.

Father Anthony prayed for her as she hurried out of the church. She quickly went to get Lucy and then they climbed the hill up to Lord Rayven\'s castle.

Lucy was pale once they reached up the hill. "Are you alright?" Roxana asked her.

"I am scared." She admitted.

"Don\'t be. I won\'t let any harm come to you." Roxana promised. "We will get your home back." If Lord Rayven didn\'t help her then she would find some other way.

At the gate, there were no guards so Roxana stepped inside hesitantly. The dark castle loomed over them like a shadow, threatening with its size. They stepped into the bright garden that was a contrast to the darkness of the castle. The garden was heavenly and as she stared an angel appeared in it. A beautiful red-haired woman walked into the sunlight, her bright blue eyes falling on her. This must be the beauty Lord Rayven married. The woman she wanted to see at least once.

"Good afternoon, My Lady. I am sorry, the gate was open. I am Roxana." She hurried to introduce herself. "This is Lucy. We came here to see Lord Rayven."

"Good afternoon." The woman smiled. "I am Angelica. Lord Rayven\'s wife. Please come inside." She motioned for them to follow her.

Roxana and Lucy followed Angelica in and she took them to sit in the parlor. "Did you walk all the way up here?" Angelica asked.

"Yes, My Lady."

"Oh, you must be exhausted."

"I am alright," Roxana said stroking Lucy\'s hair to make sure the little girl was alright.

"Sarah, bring some water," Angelica told the servant girl who came in. "Lord Rayven should be here anytime soon." She said. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Roxana looked at Angelica\'s swollen belly. Maybe a woman who would be a mother soon, she would sympathize with Lucy\'s situation.

"My Lady. I would be forever grateful if you could help us." She turned to Lucy. "Lucy is the oldest of her siblings. She has three of them and she raises them alone. They live in a small house that their parents left behind. Now the family she works with wants to take her home."

Angelica frowned, her eyes looking pained as she watched Lucy. "It must be hard to raise your siblings all alone. I am sure you are doing a good job." She said. "Don\'t worry. No one is going to take your home."

Roxana was surprised. That was it? She wouldn\'t question them or ask them for evidence? Surely her husband would want evidence.

"My Lady. Lucy had no evidence that the home belongs to her, but people in town have known her parents and know that she had lived there for a long time. The family she works with is also accusing her of theft to take her home.

Angelica smiled. "Don\'t worry. I will take care of it."

Roxana already loved this woman. "Thank you, My Lady," Roxana said.

Angelica smiled. "How do you two know each other?"

"Roxana is like a sister. She helps us all the time, My Lady." Lucy said.

"That is very kind of you," Angelica smiled, true joy showing on her face.

Sarah came in with water, tea, juice, some delicacies, and fruits.

She placed them on the table.

"Since you came all the way up here, I should offer you lunch."

"Oh no, My Lady. We don\'t want to take more of your time. You have already been of great help." Roxana said.

"I would love if you stayed. You would keep me company too."

The more Roxana watched Angelica, the more she liked the woman. She helped her servant serve the table and Roxana offered to help. Soon they were all serving together before they sat to eat.

"Lucy, do you know how to write and read?" Angelica asked the little girl.

Lucy shook her head.

"Would you love to learn?"

Slowly her expression saddened. "I can\'t afford it, My Lady."

"I have a school for girls. It is free. You don\'t have to pay anything and you can come whenever you have time."

Roxana blinked surprised. "Really?"

Angelica smiled. "Yes."

"You must be an angel, My Lady," Roxana said.

Angelica chuckled. "That is a nickname given by my husband."

Her husband? She remembered Lord Rayven looking all serious and angry. He called his wife an angel? How sweet. But she shouldn\'t be surprised. This woman was not only a beauty but kind and educated as well.

"Education is important. Knowledge is the real power." Angelica said.

Since it came from her, Roxana had no doubt. This woman had changed her own life. Done the impossible.

"Do you only teach girls?"

"I will teach anyone who wants to learn."

"Then, may I attend your lectures?"

Angelica\'s eyes twinkled and her face lit up. "Of course.. You are welcome any time."