Heart of Darkness

Roxana still felt like this was all a dream. Did she really steal his heart? She found the ultimate treasure which was this man and now he belonged to her. If this was a dream then she was ready to never wake up.

She leaned against him again and rested her head on his chest. “Are you not afraid anymore?” She asked knowing it wasn’t easy to steal his heart.

She watched their fingers play together. “I am. I am still terrified, but you are to me the one worth suffering for.”

Roxana frowned her chest tightening with pain and happiness. How could they come together like this? “I will cherish your heart.” She promised. “I am your guard. I am supposed to protect you after all.”

He chuckled. “My most loyal guard.” He said stroking her hair. “I made things difficult for you. I pushed you away.”

“I never blamed you.” She couldn’t. She didn’t know what a broken heart did to someone. She didn’t know what being betrayed by family felt like. “In this world, there are two things that are hard to find and even harder to get and that is rare jewels and true gentlemen and you are both. I knew you wouldn’t be easy and I always like a challenge.” She smiled. “I have lived as a man. I don’t mind courting.”

She could feel him smile even though she couldn’t see him. “You really know how to compliment.” He said.

“You are not bad yourself, Your Majesty.”

“This one I might lose to you.”

“Well, I like to win.” She smiled.

“You are silly.” He remarked.

Uncle Ben came back to the ship after a while and began making lunch. Roxana sat at the table and watched Uncle Ben explain how to cook the fish the best way to Alexander. This union made her remember her family and she silently began to cry again, wiping her tears away quickly before they could be seen.

Uncle Ben seemed to enjoy Alexander’s company and was comfortable around him. He had dropped the honorifics faster than her, calling him by name. Maybe he was fulfilling his dream of having a son. Or perhaps it was son-in-law when he suddenly took Alexander’s hand at lunch.

“Your Majesty,” he went back to addressing him formally and Roxana knew he was going to say something serious. “Take care of our Roxana.”

“Uncle Ben..” She began flustered but he ignored her.

“She seems cunning but she has a golden heart. She is a sheep in wolf’s clothing.” He said changing the idiom. Alexander smiled. “I trust you will take care of her.”

“I will,” Alexander promised.

Why were these men making her emotional now?

When Fanny came home, things got even worse. It went from emotional to embarrassing her completely. They all sat while Fanny impersonated her and told Alexander how she acted after she met him for the first time.

“I will never trust you again,” She told Fanny sounding serious but they just laughed. She could really kill them now. It would be Royal soup with commoner bread for dinner.

“But Your Majesty, If I may be blunt. You look divine.” Fanny said.

“Yes. My old eyes don’t see faces clearly but I can see yours.” Uncle Ben said looking closer.

“Alright. Stop staring.” Roxana said. What way to make someone uncomfortable.

“It is alright,” Alexander said. “It must be the royal bath.”

“No.” Fanny shook his head. “This is the lord being unfair in his creation.”

Uncle ben slapped him on his arm and Alexander chuckled. “Don’t bring the Lord into this.” Uncle Ben scolded.

As much as she was annoyed with them, she was happy they were here and distracting her. Even Alexander was enjoying himself and seeing him smile and laugh this much, brought warmth to her chest.

Time went by fast and the sun was already setting. Roxana looked over at Alexander concerned. Was he going to stay here tonight as well? It would be inappropriate to share a room with him now that Uncle Ben and Fanny were here even if they had shared a room last night. But once Uncle Ben went home for the night, Fanny made things easier or perhaps harder for them by excusing himself to go sleep first. Now she was left with Alexander and she looked around unsure of what to say or do.

“I will stay with you until you fall asleep, if I may?”

Well, if she said no she would be throwing him out. “Alright.” She murmured.

“I can wait here if you want to change into something more comfortable.” He told her.

She nodded and went to her room knowing that she did need the change. She had already slept in this dress last night and it wasn’t the most comfortable. As she picked her simple white gown that wasn’t quite a nightgown but thin and comfortable to sleep in, she slid into it alone with nothing underneath. It was most comfortable that way. In the faint light of the small candles, she caught sight of her scars. She had told him about what she had been through but she never told him the torture in detail.

Taking a deep breath she decided to show him once and for all and get it over with so she wouldn’t have to worry about it. She would rather he knew now before he made any commitments. Gathering her courage she went to the door and opened it as a sign that she was done. The plan was to get under the covers before he came so she wouldn’t stand there with this thin dress, exposing her body but her mind worried about other things now.

Alexander stepped inside and as he closed the door behind him he took notice of her and froze in place. His gaze went over her body once but then he forces his eyes to remain on her face.

“I-I need to show you something.” She began.

Swallowing the lump in her throat she lifted her dress to show him her legs. Slowly his gaze fell to her legs and she avoided looking at him in fear of what his reaction would be.

“I already saw those scars.” He said and she looked up at him surprised. “When I saved you from drowning.”

Oh. It must have been while she was unconscious because she couldn’t remember.

“It does not matter to me. You look beautiful.” He told her taking a few steps forwards.

“Wait!” She said, “There is more. I need to show you.” He needed to see the ones on her back because they were much worse.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Please. Decide after you see them.” She begged. She didn’t want any surprises later.

She turned away from him, and then slowly removed the gown from her shoulders. Her heart was pounding and she shut her eyes tightly, a part of her wishing to disappear. She removed her gown as far down as she could without exposing her breasts and revealing her back as much as she could. Then she stood there stiff, waiting for a reply. It felt like forever before she heard footsteps. He was walking closer. She pulled her shoulders up defensively, knowing that he would see her scars clearer. Up close they looked even more hideous.

Alexander touched her back with his cold smooth fingers. Roxana shivered.

“Who did this to you?” He asked hearing the suppressed anger in his voice.

This was from when she tried to escape the mine and was caught the first time. They wanted to make an example of her to the other children.

His fingers continued to explore. “You were only a child.” He said as if understanding what the torture did to a child compared to an adult. Perhaps that was why she felt more pained about the ones on her back and not only because of the severity.

His palm stroked her back gently. “It pains me to see them but they are part of you. They speak of your battles and your victories. Perhaps one day, you will carry them with pride.”

The tears streamed down her face now. His hands came to rest at her waist and then she felt his lips right between her shoulder blades. Roxana stiffened at first. He was kissing her scars. She wanted to move away but his hold on her tightened and his lips continued downwards placing soft intimate kisses along her spine. He came back up, kissing her shoulders and her neck with utmost care. Each kiss carrying a different meaning as if writing a love declaration on her skin.

Roxana felt overwhelmed and let the tears continue to fall. She turned to face him, seeking to look into his eyes. In the dim light he looked even more beautiful or perhaps it was just her heart expanding and giving him more place. He cupped her face, wiping the tears with his thumb on one side and kissing them away on the other. He then kissed her eyes, her nose, and then her lips. She felt the taste of her salty tears on his mouth.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she kissed him back, longing for the intimacy she so desperately craved. His hands roamed her back as he drew her closer, but she didn’t mind this time. She clung to him, lost in the heat, willing to forget about the rest of the world for a while. Their kisses grew more passionate, hungry, and demanding, and they fell to their knees without breaking contact. With a swift movement, her back was on the mattress, and his body covering hers.

Alexander pulled away with a groan. “God, Roxana!” he hissed. “I shouldn’t. Not yet.”

His eyes were dark, even darker in the dim light. She recognized that look. She knew he was holding back. God, she knew she shouldn’t either but she just wanted to feel good for a moment. She knew she shouldn’t give in to her desires this easily. She should wait until they made a commitment until they said their vows. That was how she wanted it to be. What she thought she deserved even if she wasn’t a lady.

“Roxana. I can make you feel good without going all the way if you allow me.”

Roxana’s breath caught in her throat. Make her feel good? She found herself unable to deny. She nodded slowly.

Alexander watched her intently, waited as if giving her a chance to change her mind and when she didn’t he lowered his head and kissed her again. His tongue probed for entrance and Roxana welcomed him, sucking at him, luring him deeper, tangling her tongue with his, stroking and exploring. This kind of good feeling was addictive. She wanted more.

Just as she arched against him he broke the kiss. A gasp of protest left her lips and she was about to ask where he was going when he grabbed her legs and bent her knees, removing them from where they lay between his. He changed their positions by parting her legs and placing himself between them instead. This position made their bodies press more intimately and a silent moan rose to her throat. Alexander’s lips found her neck while his hand traveled up her bent leg and down her thigh, baring her skin along the way.

Roxana never had anyone touch her bare thigh before and as his fingers brushed against her inner thigh she jerked involuntarily. Alexander stopped, letting his fingers rest there as his mouth moved lower, placing wet kisses along her collarbone and then down her chest. He kissed her through the thin fabric of her gown but she could feel the heat of his mouth closing in on her breast.

Her pulse quickened with anticipation and her breath staggered as his lips teasingly kissed the swells and curves of her breast leaving the tip to grow harder. She writhed impatiently, trying to adjust herself to find his mouth but he left her aching. Instead, his mouth brushed across her chest to the other one, teasing in the same manner, causing her to arch against him and compelling a plea from her lips.

Alexander’s arm went under her arched back and around her waist to hold her in place. His other hand left her thigh and came up to cup her breast. As if expecting her reaction he was quick to silence the moan that escaped her lips with a deep kiss while his hand coaxed more sounds out of her; kneading, rubbing, gently pinching through her dress.

“Oh…” She tore her lips away from him just so she could catch her breath. Her face was flushed, her breath unsteadily as heat pooled to her core, tightening it, causing her to ache and throb with need.

Alexander’s mouth found its way back to her bosom again, this time closing over the tight tip. Roxana’s eyes rolled back in her head and her mouth opened in a silent cry. Her hands desperately looked for something to grasp at the firm pull of his mouth. She could feel each tug all the way down to her toes that curled with growing need. She grasped his silky her and the sheets in a desperate attempt to… She wasn’t even sure what she wanted at this point.

Suddenly the candles burned out leaving the room dark except for the faint moonlight from the window. What happened? She couldn’t think further when she felt his hand touching her inner thigh again, slowly moving upward, sliding under her dress and causing ripples of fire along the way before touching her burning core. This time she couldn’t hold herself back and cried out. Some of it got muffed by Alexander’s hand on her mouth which she was grateful for or Fanny would have heard her.

“Do you want to awaken your brother?” he spoke over his hand.

Her face flushed and she shook her hand.

“Then you will need to exercise a lot of control.” He whispered amused while his hand between her legs began to move, stroking her swollen flesh with his fingers.

Oh god. She couldn’t keep quiet. Her legs jerked close involuntarily but he stood between them, keeping them apart for his fingers to do as they pleased. He stroked her aching flesh in circles that made her grow tighter and tighter with need until it was almost painful. She felt empty inside, her walls clenching, her body seeking to be touched in a specific place that his fingers seemed to avoid for some reason. Or maybe he didn’t know. She writhed again, angling her body in a different way to feel his touch, trying to find a way to ease the ache.

Alexander removed his hand from her mouth to hold her eagerly moving body in place instead.

“Alex…” She gasped now that she could make a sound. “Ah… please.” She wanted to yell at him with frustration.

He chuckled a low grumbling sound of satisfaction and then she became sure that he had indeed been teasing her when his fingers easily found the spot that begged to be touched.

A tremor went through her entire body awakening every nerve. She found a moment of relief only to be followed by a stronger surge of need. Her body tensed again as he began to stroke the sensitive throbbing nub between her thighs and desire spiraled through her. She bit her lip to stop any sound from leaving her mouth.

Her body arched against his as the strokes increased, making her feel like her body would soon erupt. She was getting closer to the edge but right when she thoughts she would fall, Alexander slowed down leaving her breathless and shaking. Before she could protest, he increased the strokes again and this time she felt like she would die if he left her at the edge. Her whole body was tight, every muscle taut, every nerve tense as each of his strokes brought her closer to the brink and then finally pushed her over the edge.

Roxana’s head fell back with a cry as the waves of pleasure washed over her, stealing her sanity and leaving her quivering with bliss.